Hello, Hello!
What are you up to today? It’s bright and sunny here in Upstate, NY and it’s actually Memorial Day! Honoring all the men and women who have served our country always but with special attention today.
My Dad and Partner are Navy men and my partner’s son served a tour in Iraq so it’s especially meaningful when you have a personal connection and see the ups, the downs, and the behind the scenes.
I hope you’ve carved out space or a moment of prayer for all those who have gone before us and sacrificed for our safety.
I’ve been focusing on a little mini-series here on the pod lately.
Starting with why a growth mindset is the fastest way to mastery
The Incredible Power of Knowing Your Deep Why
How Being Anti-Fragile Helps Win at Life
And last week’s Are You Making a Big Enough Impact in the World
If you’ve missed any of the episodes above, remember to make a mental note to go back and listen - it will help you go deeper into today’s topic - Self-leadership.
Leadership, in general, has been a strong focus for me over the last 3 years. Forbes describes Leadership “as a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal.”
When we think of leaders, usually the image of a confident, strong, and influential person comes to mind - often times speaking on the stage or orchestrating change in a large group. And that’s cool.
Yet, I think self-leadership is far more interesting.
Self-leadership is all about how you live your life. It’s about developing and managing our own energy and endeavors both in life and business. This is what I help my clients do in my Soulprint Method coaching. Blending the feminine intuition, faith, and self-trust with sharp strategies so they can approach their business holistically. Boiled down, it’s about starting with yourself as client 0 and carving out a growth mindset, putting the theory into practice, and dialing in your time management and habits so that you accelerate mastery. This leads to big-time results.
It’s the most exciting stuff if you ask me because it’s personal development work at its best. We take ourselves with us wherever we go. We are the works of art. We get to mold the clay into what we want the creation to look like in the end. And the cool thing is, though being a radiant exemplar, others are attracted to our energy, inspired by our lifestyle, or motivated by our results. And isn’t that true leadership? Sparking curiosity and momentum in others. Leading by example so others have the mojo to do the same.
Quite honestly, general leadership can fall into a do as I say, not as I do kind of thing. I’m not into that at all. In fact, I just had a recent experience that really underscored how passionate I am about authentic, aligned leadership.
I’ve followed a very well-known coach for years - bought his books and even shared his audios with my clients because they were so on point. I had an opportunity to attend one of his live masterclasses with my peer coach and was so excited. When I got on the zoom my mouth was open with shock. This man had aged, but that happens to all of us, but his outer appearance also showed signs of poor health, stagnation, and perhaps substance abuse. Now this may sound judgemental and I guess it is to some extent but we all have filters that we run things through to pass the resonance test if you will. I chatted to my friend about this and she said I was only there for the content. I replied, there’s no shortage of content in the world. I’m dedicated to spending my time and energy connecting to people who walk their talk, who have their feet held to the fire and get up and do it all over again the next day because integrity is in their blood, there is no other option. My feelings even surprised me!
So when we look at the inner game of self-leadership in a nutshell it’s our mindset - our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In essence our belief system. When we look at the outer game of self-leadership it comes down to action. It’s in our behaviors which in turn governs our results. This dynamic duo has to go hand in hand - both the inner work and the outer work. When it does there’s alignment and forward motion. And as we know, like begets like, so you, your energy, and your results will automatically attract your divine right tribe. Whether that be your perfect clients or you’re in a group environment and you’re inspiring team members to take note, get curious, and begin focusing on inward efforts to achieve their own results.
Let’s look at a couple of traits that the Center for Creative Leadership lists as the top 10 characteristics of a Good Leader and see how we can look at each through the lens of self-leadership:
The first is integrity.
To me integrity is the foundation of any sustainable endeavor - be it a relationship or business venture. Honesty is the basis. When I think of self-leadership and integrity thoughts of being honest with myself to come up. If I’m really honest with myself, what do I feel about (fill in the blank). A couple of months ago I had a situation come up with which I had to put this principle into action. I was spending way too much time in my inbox. When I got really honest with myself, I was using it as a distraction to deep work and if I got really, really honest with myself it was a way to stay in my comfort zone vs. taking a massive leap to uplevel.
I was telling myself that I was needed and had to attend to all the demands and pings coming in. This was not true. It took putting integrity into action - which looked like putting in a boundary to only open Gmail at 10 am and 3 pm each day. This is just one example.
How can you be more honest with yourself? There are a million opportunities to practice this. Maybe it’s with your food journal, if you keep one - are you recording each item or intentionally skipping a few entries so it looks on track? Maybe it’s with the hours you spend in deep focused work or your CEO blocks of time that you allow yourself to be distracted by not turning the ringer off on your cell or keeping Facebook notifications on.
Whatever it is, when it’s silent, you know what you need to do. Practicing integrity on a daily basis is the first step to self-leadership.
Next is the ability to delegate.
This is a big one for perfectionists and micro-managers. It’s easy to think you’re the only one that can do a task, believe me, I’ve been there. I joke that I’m a recovering perfectionist and it’s a hard habit to break. Being able to let go of the reins and recognize your need for control is huge. It’s a chance to practice trust and it’s something we can start doing in our personal lives and then extend to our business lives. When we expand our consciousness outside of me, myself, and I, it opens up a tremendous opportunity to see clearer and has more space to focus on our zone of genius. For me, when I hired a podcast manager, this allowed me to focus on content and marketing vs. editing and show notes. It took a little time to let go. There was an onramp to fully get her to know my desires and style. Now, I look for opportunities to delegate after experiencing both a sense of freedom and support.
Ok, let’s dig into communication.
Using our voice as leaders is crucial but it’s not just reserved for business meetings and client interaction. Do you speak up in your home with your partner? Do you say what you really want to your friends? Do you take a stand when something is being said or done in front of you that doesn’t sit well or is unjust?
These are opportunities to exercise self-leadership.
Understanding our voice.
Embracing our voice.
Using our voice.
Last year, when the black lives matter movement hit a peak and everyone was sharing their views online I initially chose to watch and process. Days later, my VA at the time wrote me and said, silence is a stand and your followers are waiting for you to chime in. This was a massive opportunity to not just listen but speak. And it’s one that I’m continually learning as I navigate through new waters when it comes to social injustice and human rights issues.
It’s important to note that communication is more than just speaking. It also involves listening and being emotionally aware and sensitive to non-verbal clues as well. There are several ways we exchange information and express ourselves.
Being mindful of how we are perceived, our body language, and even the tone and clarity of how we correspond in email matters. This self-awareness cultivates a positive ripple effect in our own lives. People are influenced by living examples and begin to make changes when they experience something good.
How can you optimize your communication?
Integrity, the ability to delegate, and communication are just 3 ways to mindful and effective leadership. Starting with ourselves first is the only way to truly lead and initiate sustainable change.
I’m curious about your thoughts. Reach out to me and let me know what comes up to you when you think about self-leadership or how you implement the characteristics mentioned.
