Kc Rossi (00:00:02) - Are you ready to scale your business in a way that's aligned with your soul and profitable? I'm Kc Rossi, a business and leadership coach. I've been a full-time entrepreneur for 30 years and love business. I help conscious leaders increase their impact and optimize their lives. Join me each week for tips and deep conversations on cultivating confidence, increasing your visibility, elevating your vibration, and leading with purpose without burning out. Let's go.
Kc Rossi (00:00:37) - Hello. Hello. Beautifuls. As a child, I wasn't in tune with my identity. I just went with the flow, followed the rules and guidelines set before me, and tried to adapt to a variety of personalities to be liked. As soon as the concept of identity came into my awareness, I have been fascinated by it identity evolution specifically, but we will dive deeper into that most likely in another episode. Identity is what makes up who you are. It consists of your beliefs, values, choices, interests, ethnicity, appearance, work, personal and spiritual life, and of course so many other variables and interests that construct your personal makeup. Most times we just keep repeating what we have always done, the exact definition of a habit, and by the time adulthood comes, we have a boatload of habits, some that are resourceful and some that are not. But it's like the driver knows which direction to take on the daily route.
Kc Rossi (00:01:49) - So it doesn't question the path until a fork in the road appears where you are forced to make a decision or change in order to move forward. Or in my recent case, a bump in the road that swerved me off track. Can you think of a time when this happened to you? A couple examples are when your kids leave the house or go off to college or head off to begin their own life, a death, a divorce, a move, a job loss, any circumstance that requires a new way of being and dealing with your life. Some call these pivots or transitions, but when it starts to feel uncomfortable, stimulates anxiety, depression, isolation, numbness, or a sense of questioning your worth. It's most often referred to as an identity crisis.
Kc Rossi (00:02:53) - I prefer to think of it as an identity wobble. It definitely shares the unstable quality that a crisis brings, but wobble somehow feels more empowering like Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. As you may know, I'm recovering from thyroid cancer. Receiving the news definitely caught me off guard, being that I've been a clean plant-based eater, focused on non-toxic lifestyle and positivity for years, I found myself landing in a judgment zone. Luckily, having a firm faith foundation and also with the help of my coach, I was able to accept the circumstance and take swift action to get immediate surgery.
Kc Rossi (00:03:43) - I thought that I would've had a bigger reaction to the incision because it goes straight across my neck for all the world to see, but not so much. However, what I didn't anticipate was the effect the Sergio would have on my voice, both my speaking voice and my singing voice, and that my friends threw me into an identity wobble. Have you ever taken anything for granted? Like it's just so much a part of who you are that you never even had a reason to question or think about. What would it be like if it was missing or altered? Like the Joni Mitchell song from the 1960s? Don't it always seem to go, you don't know what you've got till it's gone. So here are a few signs that you might be in an identity wobble. You don't feel like yourself. You don't really know what to do with yourself. You don't feel comfortable, body or mind. You look back at the past and the way things were.
Kc Rossi (00:04:56) - Here are a few emotions that come up in an identity wobble, anger, fear, resentment, nervousness, stress overall. And you might experience restlessness or trouble sleeping, lack of motivation or concentration, fatigue or hopelessness avoidance or a sense of loneliness or thoughts like no one really gets what I'm going through. I can say that I had my hand raised for all of the above, and it can be damn uncomfortable. And know that if you're determined to seek the light at the end of the tunnel, that it won't last and that there is hope. So here are a couple of things that are helping me. Number one, stepping back and getting a broader perspective. It helps to zoom away from me, myself, and I, and see the bigger picture. Most times it reduces the personal sting for me. Reframing the fact that even though my voice doesn't sound the same yet, and that in the beginning it was even difficult to speak or have the stamina to talk for an extended period of time, at least I have this sense.
Kc Rossi (00:06:19) - I am able to communicate and express myself. And that's a gift that not everyone has. Two, take one small action per day in the direction that you desire. You may be thinking, Kc, I don't even know what that direction is. I don't even know I'm so out of touch. Then just take one small action that's gonna make you feel good mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, doesn't matter. One small action a day. So voice exercises were recommended to heal my vocal chords. Mentally, I thought, yes, I'm all in. Whatever it takes, bring it on until I started practicing and couldn't even stand the sound of what was coming out of my own mouth. And this spiraled me into avoidance and more disbelief of the circumstances. So here's what helped. Taking one small action, even when I didn't feel like it, I plugged in a YouTube tutorial and I tried, and maybe I didn't make it through the whole clip every day and still don't.
Kc Rossi (00:07:27) - But even attempting the practice session is a win. Remember to celebrate and honor your wins and be conscious of that voice that tries to damper us down and push us further into that comparison mode because we biologically repeat what's rewarded. So even those small action steps that you take by all means, remember to celebrate yourself for those. Number three, share what's going on with the people closest to you. Don't suffer in silence. Now, this can be especially hard if you've relied on your status and reputation for a long time, but trust me, it can be done. And it is a practice learning how to lay down your guard and speak about your struggle. It is really a true sense of vulnerability, but honestly, this act of communicating your feelings is healing in its own right, and it also brings this sense of honoring all that you are and your emotions and feelings and struggles right here, right now.
Kc Rossi (00:08:41) - And there's something really powerful in that. And number four, amping up your spiritual life. It is so crucial in times of identity wobbles, whether this means prayer for you, journaling, meditating, grounding, yoga exercises or community support, getting in touch with that source that is bigger than yourself. My mantra through all of this has been trust the master plan. It's simple, it's powerful, and it's proven to be a life raft when the seas are storming. So craft something that feels meaningful to you, something that you can post or set as a phone background. Put a sticky note on your computer screen or draw a visual on your whiteboard. This helps to remind yourself that you are not alone and that everything happens for a reason. It may not feel like it while you're going through it. And that's we're leaning into your higher power. And a simple mantra can really come into play.
Kc Rossi (00:09:51) - If you're experiencing an identity wobble. Remember to consciously breathe. Tap into your body to break out of your mind chaos and go easy on yourself. Turn over the reins and release any expectations of the timeline or "shoulds" in your head. They will just perpetuate a maddening mind swirl. Know that you have everything within you to experience this challenge, and once you do, the gifts and lessons will be waiting for you on the other side. I truly believe that we've got this sending you so much love and strength. Until next week, my friend, breathe, join. If you'd like to go deeper on this and desire identity support, reach out to me. I have a coaching package designed to help you connect to your purpose, increase your motivation and vitality, and align with or reestablish elements that make up your identity. See you soon.
