Kc Rossi** ((00:00:02)) - - Welcome to Heart Glow CEO™, where high achievers evolve into purpose-driven powerhouses. I'm Kc Rossi your Integrative Leadership Coach join us to break free from people pleasing and burnout, exploring mindset, embodiment, and soul alignment. Discover expert insights, success stories, and actionable tips for holistic wealth on your terms. This is where transformation meets the modern female leader. Let's go!
Hello, hello my friend! It is so awesome to connect with you again. In today's episode, we'll be exploring the strategy of positive reappraisal and how finding positive meanings in challenging situations can transform stress into growth opportunities. Positive reappraisal is a cognitive behavioral strategy where you reinterpret a stressful or challenging situation into a positive meaning or find the beneficial aspects in it. Instead of focusing on the negative elements of a situation, positive reappraisal involves looking for potential growth opportunities or the silver lining. This is a mental reframe, and it helps change the emotional response, and it makes it less distressing and more manageable. So an easier way to think about this is just to rethink, right? We're rethinking about a situation.
((00:01:35)) - - So the actual term positive reappraisal is just a fancy way of saying like reframing or rethinking. I want to look at some benefits of this rethinking process with you. So I broke down about eight different benefits from this practice of positive reappraisal because I think it's very easy sometimes to dismiss something when it sounds simple. So for example, you could be thinking of this of, you know, turning a frown upside down, or how do I look for the silver lining or how do I flip the situation? And that may make your mind feel like, ‘ Meh…. what's really the big deal about that?’ And it's so easy to dismiss it. And I don't want that for you, because you will be missing out on all of these key benefits that actually have some substance behind them. So let's dive into it.
1. The very first one, when you start to practice this, rethinking is reducing negative emotions. By focusing on the positive aspects of a challenging situation, you mitigate feelings of stress, anxiety, and sadness. This shift in perspective helps reduce the emotional burden and makes the situation feel less overwhelming.
((00:03:00)) - - In fact, I just met with a client yesterday and I could tell the minute we connected on Zoom, I was like, what is burdening you? It looked like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders, and you could just see it in her face. You could see literally see like this, pressure in her forehead. She needs to let a team member go. And that has been really renting space for free, I would say, for the last 8 or 9 months. And here's the thing. If you are constantly going into “what if” thinking, if you are, you know, practicing this self-talk of I really shouldn't do this and all of the things, you know, self-talk plays a big role.
How do you speak to yourself when you're in the thick of things? Are you shooting on yourself? Do you regret how you acted or didn't in the moment? Do you take action based on guilt? That's a huge one. So it helps to get a GPS on what's driving your emotions.
((00:04:14)) - - And back to that example, with my client, it's really this opportunity in that situation to look at the greater good, to look at really the whys. Why does this team member not fit any longer? How does releasing her play into the greater mission of the organization? How is it going to improve the culture of the day? Right this corporate culture, but also the daily feelings when that situation is removed. So it's really interesting when you think about this, reducing negative emotions. If you allow the self-talk, if you allow the kind of mind to take over and you just focus on this is going to be so hard, how am I going to have this conversation? you know, when is the right time? And like I said, this has been something that has been eating away at her for nine months, which is really unfortunate because she is such a bright and brilliant leader, and because of this piece that has really been an irritant under the skin, so to speak, it has dampened down her leadership.
((00:05:23)) - - It has allowed her to second guess her decisions, and it's eaten away some of her confidence. And so when you really think about this seemingly, simple thing of reframing, that it actually does have the power to mitigate these feelings of stress, to turn things around, to really subscribe to this concept that everything is happening for you. All these supposed challenges in your way. What would it feel like if you leaned into this truth that things are happening for you, for your growth? Right. So so important. All right.
2. Number two is it enhances resilience. Yes, please. I don't know about you, but sometimes it feels like you haven't even had the opportunity to get up after being knocked down. And all of a sudden, boom, here it goes again. Boom. Here it goes again. And maybe you can relate to that. Sometimes things feel like they come in waves. And this positive reappraisal or reframing strengthens your ability to bounce back from adversity. It fosters a mindset of growth and learning, helping you see difficulties as temporary and surmountable.
((00:06:47)) - - So like no mountain is too high to climb. I mean, it may be difficult. You may sweat, it may not be pretty, right? Many, many times that messy middle is ugly. And you have the power to rise above. We've talked a lot about growth mindset, and psychologist Carol Dweck, who wrote the book on the subject, has so much to say about this. If you haven't picked up a copy of that, I invite you to do so. I'll drop a link in the show notes for you. She has so much research on growth mindset, it just really helps you reframe, pun intended. So this whole aspect of what we're talking about, it's seeing the unlimited potential. And it's really interesting when I think about unlimited potential, it's not only the possibilities that you can tap into in a situation. It's building the self-trust that you, YOU are the vehicle of unlimited potential. That you have everything that you need inside of you, right here, right now, with no limitations.
((00:07:56)) - - So going back to growth mindset, that is really in a nutshell not about black and white thinking. It's not about yes or no, right or wrong. It is really this opportunity to expand, to increase your capacity, to allow your thinking to go to what else, what else, what else, what else, how else?
Subscribing to a kaleidoscope of possibilities to get your desired outcome. Your whole world changes. It opens it up in such a dynamic way. And here's the thing, again when you look at this benefit and you just stop at enhances resilience, I think especially after Covid, we got really burnt out on this bounce back theory. It's kind of like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you really now start to dig just a little bit deeper and that's when you can mine for the gold is when you go beyond the surface, when you step away from just this generic catchall or a trendiness that maybe has caught on for whatever reason. When you take a moment, you breathe, you go a little bit deeper.
((00:09:15)) - - You use your own mind to think. That's another big thing. Not to go off on a tangent, but we are outsourcing our thinking. I mean, this is really becoming an epidemic between social media, AI, groupthink - we are outsourcing our own ability to engage our thinking and problem-solving. That's a whole nother, whole other topic for a different episode. But the point I want to make here is this opportunity to go just one step deeper so our mind doesn't dismiss the power that's right in front of us.
3. Number three is improving mental health. So this regular practice and it is a practice this regular practice of positive reappraisal or again rethinking is associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety. It promotes a more optimistic outlook on life contributing to overall mental well-being. I love knowing that I have the power to improve my mental health. Does it take practice? Hell yeah. But I can't think of a more meaningful endeavor than contributing to a healthy, uplifted, and clear outlook.
4. Number four is increased problem-solving abilities.
((00:10:39)) - - A positive outlook can enhance creative thinking and problem-solving skills. By seeing opportunities rather than obstacles, you are more likely to come up with an innovative solution. I'm sure you can think of someone in your circle who goes to the negative side of situations. What do they sound like? Usually, it's victim language like that. Figures. It's just my luck. Why me? Well, they should have. I have to, They just don't get it right. How do you feel when you're around someone like that? I feel like backing up and walking away. It's a literal and figurative drag of energy and personal power.
As a leader, you know how important problem-solving is. I'd love to see a stat on how many problems a leader or a manager solves per day. I'm guessing it is a big number.
So reflect for a moment. In your day. What would it feel like if you could make quick and confident decisions when it comes to finding solutions? A total game changer and reframing situations can help.
5. Number five boosts physical health. Reducing stress through positive reappraisal can have beneficial effects on physical health. Lower stress levels like we've already talked about. But here's the thing these lower stress levels are linked to better immune function. That's something that I've been working on for years. Better immune function. This internal piece to me is like a strong shield of protection. It really starts with our vitality. It starts with our physical vessel that we're walking around this Earth plane in. So this lower stress level leads to better immune function, it also reduces the risk of chronic disease and improves overall health. My inner circle is about 25 years older than me, so I have had the blessing and this kind of keen insight to be able to witness. What does aging look like? What does being around people two and a half decades to my senior it look like? How are they navigating that? And I don't know about you, but if I have a tool I can improve my immune function, reduce my risk of chronic disease, and and improve my overall health.
((00:13:14)) - - I am absolutely going to perk my ears up, pay attention, and put it into practice because we know that stress has a powerful ripple effect. It can affect our hormone levels, digestion, and other vital systems in our body. Isn't it amazing that by turning things around, by mining for the gold in messy situations, and you even think about that, like when you mined for anything, it's really messy. I was recently at the Herkimer Diamond Mining place. It's up in upstate New York. And, you know, from the outside it's like this big gray dusty rock field really. But it's so very interesting because if you change your perspective and you dig in a little, that's when you actually can mine for something so brilliant, so full of light. It's just it's so interesting. And I love to see that metaphor of connecting, this idea of reframing that I can actually affect my autonomic nervous system like digestion and blood pressure. It's pretty amazing. It's pretty amazing. All right.
6. Number six enhances relationships.
((00:14:30)) - - People who practice positive reappraisal often exhibit better social interactions. And relationships make so much more sense, right? They are more likely to maintain a positive demeanor, which can be contagious and improve mood and behavior to those around them. I've talked before on the show about emotional contagion, and this is really a nod to that. So when people have this positive reappraisal, they are more likely to maintain this demeanor that is just more uplifting and happy. If you're like me, you gravitate towards high-vibe people. The ones that walk their talk, put in the work, and have positive routines for both mental hygiene and high-performance habits. It just feels good to be around them. I usually end up jazzed with higher energy and excitement when I'm with people with positivity coursing through their veins. It makes it an easy yes to schedule in time with them and something to look forward to. Who do you have in your life? That is an easy yes to connect with. Now think about their mental attitude. Is it uplifting? Do you walk away feeling lighter, more creative, and have a sense of levity? It's interesting to connect the dots.
((00:15:44)) - -
7. Number seven promotes personal growth
By focusing on what can be learned from a difficult situation, you can experience personal growth and development. This approach encourages self-reflection, learning from mistakes, and gaining new insights. I have a question for you. How often do you self-audit? This simple act is essential when it comes to sharpening your saw – from inching out the competition to striving towards your personal best. Awareness and self-reflection in the form of writing down your lessons and contemplating tweaks and adjustments for betterment, put you in an elite class of high achievers.
8. Number eight fosters optimism
All right, so by now, you are catching the drift that positive reappraisal helps cultivate an optimistic outlook. You become more inclined to expect good outcomes and believe in your ability to handle future challenges effectively. This is an essential part of emotional intelligence, that self-perception. That's one of the big, big categories. Right under that is self-regard, which is the ability to be confident in your own skin and to understand that you have dignity and integrity. The belief that you have got this! Whatever comes your way, you know that deep down, you harness the tools that you can draw on to pull you through to the other side. Now that's powerful!
I'm going to share a personal example of positive reappraisal in action. When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2023, it threw me for a loop. Especially since I practiced clean eating and thinking since I was 16 years old. Nonetheless, it was an opportunity to practice what I preached and truly partner with my mindset.
I had a choice of “why me” thinking. Of going down the road, of questioning the fairness of it all, especially anything to do with the C-word. It can really bring up feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Of course, there was fear initially.
This isn't about not feeling authentic feelings when they come up. It's about noticing them and consciously deciding how long you're going to allow yourself to be in the soup. You know what I mean? There is no right answer or specific magic formula. In the same vein, that's where empowerment comes in because you get to decide. You get to feel into the situation and choose your best scenario; including your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Kc Rossi** ((00:18:28)) - - This is so key. I feel like if I could have a banner across the sky it would say, “Remember, you always have choice.”
I mentally repeated a mantra that helped me during the entire process, from diagnosis to waiting to be treated right up to undergoing anesthesia before getting cut. And it was, ‘I am divinely guided, purely loved, and deeply held.’ This simple mantra was so effective in staying in the core of faith. It allowed me to self-soothe during the stress of the unknown.
So how did using this positive reappraisal, this rethinking, reframing help? It helped me during this journey because it showed me an area of dis-ease that was calling for my attention, my throat center. Through self-reflection. It allowed me to question the areas in which I suppress my voice. It gave me an insight into the bottleneck between my heart and my mind. Positioned right there in the middle, my throat. I truly believe that there are no accidents, and I'm a big believer of the symbolism of where we have a discomfort that is really a little flag, a little poke.
((00:19:50)) - - Look at me. Just take a moment. Breathe into this. See what is calling your name. See what is calling you to look at.
Using my voice correlated with owning my power and stepping into my confident self, speaking my truth, and not suppressing emotions. Something that I have worked with for years.
Sometimes we go through hard times to help us experience bigger, brighter, and more tapped-in parts of ourselves that over time have gotten buried or haven't had an opportunity to surface just yet.
What's an example of when you faced a major setback? It doesn't have to be a health issue. It could be a failed project at work or a tumultuous relationship.
What did you learn from the experience? How are you fundamentally different as a human being? How are you more empowered now and optimistic about your future?
Your invitation this week because, you know, I love to kind of put this new learning or remembering right into action. Your invitation this week is to reflect on the above. Jot it down or talk it out with a trusted companion.
((00:21:03)) - - Your positive reappraisal is a powerful coping strategy that enables you to reinterpret stressful situations in a more positive light. This approach not only helps in reducing negative emotions, but also promotes resilience, mental and physical wellbeing, enhanced problem-solving, and overall personal growth.
Moving forward, you can track these three things to help you with positive reappraisal.
Reframe challenges as opportunities. When faced with a difficulty, ask yourself what can I learn from this? How can this experience help me grow?
I love Nelson Mandela's quote “I never lose, I either win or I learn.”
Number two is to practice gratitude. Focus on what you are thankful for, even in tough times. This can shift your perspective and reduce negative emotions.
And then lastly, journal your thoughts. Write about a challenging situation and then rewrite it from a positive angle, highlighting any lessons or strengths gained. This is really helpful because I think sometimes when it just stays in the mind and we don't connect the kinesthetic aspect like the connection between our brain and our hand and literally writing it on paper, we miss out on an opportunity.
((00:22:27)) - - So I would say, it may help you if it just feels airy fairy and thoughts are floating around or it's challenging to flip it. It may be really interesting to mind dump all of the ways that you're thinking about the challenge, and then flip it by looking at like, okay, what else is there?
And sometimes it's easy to just look at the direct opposite and go, wow, is there some truth to that direct opposite meaning, that positive side? How can I lean into the truth of the benefits of this challenging situation? It's going to be a fun project for you. I can't wait to hear how it goes.
So remember in closing, viewing challenges through a positive lens. So it's like literally a pair of glasses that you get to pop on your face. Can significantly enhance your resilience and your leadership. I am so excited for you to try one of these tips today and see how it transforms your approach. I would love to hear how it goes for you. So dash me a DM on social and share your thoughts.
I will personally reply.
All right my friends, I hope you found some value in today's concept. We're really always focused on leadership mastery. How do we continue to optimize, to amplify, to not run away from challenging situations, but to learn how to cope with them. But more than coping, to learn how to thrive through them? Because that's part of the choice, right? We can survive, you know, where it's just like, hey man, it's Monday again. You know, how do I just make it through the day? That's the bottom of the bucket. That's survival.
Or we can cope, you know, and I talked about this being a coping strategy. And it is to some extent because it does take some practice. We do have a negativity default where we look at the negative. That's just a part of how we're wired. So there is this middle zone of coping. That's fine. Right. We do need coping strategies. We do need things to help us self-soothe. But where I strive to live and what my deepest hope is for you, is that we can jump up to the highest level of thriving.
((00:24:43)) - - How do we thrive amongst the chaos? How do we maintain our calm composure even when there are a lot of things swirling around us and there are people, places, and things drawing on our energy and asking for our problem-solving abilities, what do we do then? How do we limit future things so they don't take? 6-8-9 months of our life, of our energy, of our brilliant mental capacity, of our leadership potential.
And this particular tool really has the power, as you saw through these eight benefits of practicing positive reappraisal, really looking for the good. It has this ability to bump you up from surviving to coping to literally thriving, being like, you know what? I've got this. It may be hard, right? This is not about butterflies and rainbows all the time. That would not be realistic. But this is practical, and I love that. It's a practical tool that now that you know it, now that you've been reminded of it, you can start playing around with it. And it is that practice where you want to bring it top of mind.
((00:25:58)) - - Maybe you write it down on a post-it note and you just put down “rethink” one word, right? It doesn't have to be the fancy CBT term for it; this “positive reappraisal” for me, for some reason that that's a little bit cumbersome. It's a hard concept to remember, but I can remember “reframe” and I can easily remember rethink. And just having that one word on a post-it, I'm like, oh okay. Yeah. Yep yep yep. I can see where I'm falling below the line. I can see where maybe like, am I going into victim consciousness? Am I going into a poor me zone?
Ooh, rethink it, rethink it. How is this put in my path to help me optimize, to help me build the self-trust muscle with myself? And to see that silver lining in whatever's going on.
All right. Sorry. That was a little bit of a longer summary. You can tell I'm passionate about mindset. And so yeah, thank you so much for listening. If you have any kind of topics that you're curious about digging deeper in, let me know.
((00:27:05)) - - Because I take the time to kind of bust open and expose concepts for you. So if you have something really like, man, Kc, I would love for you to do an episode on X, Y, and Z, absolutely let me know. You are my partner in this. Thank you so much for listening. If this was helpful, head on over to www.lovethepodcast.com/brilliance to leave a rating or review. It helps other listeners, just like you, to decide if I'm going to be in their queue and they're going to subscribe to plug into this positivity. Thank you so much. We'll talk to you soon.
