Conscious Communication:
How Leaders Can Drive Results with Empathy and Charisma
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:00:02 Welcome to Heart Glow CEO™, where high achievers evolve into purpose-driven powerhouses. I'm Kc Rossi, your Integrative Leadership Coach. Join us to break free from people pleasing and burnout, exploring mindset, embodiment, and soul alignment. Discover expert insights, success stories, and actionable tips for wholistic wealth on your terms. This is where transformation meets the modern female leader. Let's go!
We're exploring a key aspect of leadership; conscious communication. Whether you're leading a team, running a business, or navigating daily interactions. The way you communicate can make all the difference in creating meaningful connections and driving results.
Conscious communication isn't just about your words, it's about how you make others feel, the clarity you convey, and the energy behind your messages.
Like Maya Angelou's famous quote states, “I've learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I love that quote. And feelings come from connection and energy. So so important. Today, I want to share tips on how to level up your communication style to become a more effective and charismatic leader. Let's get started.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:01:28 Why conscious communication matters for leaders.
Communication shapes your relationships, decisions, and even your reputation. Leaders with conscious communication are intentional and present with their words. Instead of reacting on autopilot, they pause, listen deeply, and respond mindfully. We talked about this in depth last episode. If you missed, Transform Your Leadership by Committing to the Art of Presence - check that out when you have a moment.
So let's just set the stage. Imagine you're in a meeting with your team. Instead of jumping in with a solution as a conscious leader, you would actively listen to each team member acknowledge their contributions and then provide feedback. This creates an environment of respect and trust where everyone feels heard and valued. Feels pretty good, right?
I'm sure you can remember times when things didn't go this smoothly, when you had something valuable to add and weren't listened to, dismissed, or even worse, condescended. Ouch! When that happens, we want to suppress our voice or fall below the line and may even think, why bother? There is clearly an agenda here that I don't fit into. Can you relate?
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:02:49 On the flip side, you can most likely recall when you shared your thoughts and they were received with grace perhaps praised and taken on board with future action steps to implement them for the greater good. Now that feels awesome! As a result, we generally are invested, stay open and creative, and are eager to share again when the opportunity arises. Feel the difference?
1. All right, so tip number one is one of my favorites: Balancing warmth and competence when it comes to mastering conscious communication.
I love Vanessa Van Edwards. She has two amazing books and does a lot of work on charisma. She breaks it down into two essential traits; warmth and competence. Both are crucial for leaders, but striking the right balance can be tricky.
Van Edwards emphasizes that charismatic people are seen as both likable and capable. Now warmth establishes trust. That makes sense, right? While competence demonstrates expertise. So let's just look at email communication for instance. Balancing warm and competent words can significantly impact how your message is received.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:04:11 So here's an exercise that I gave my client last month to review her last five emails and audit them for both warmth and competent words. She checked to see, did I have an opening that was like a friendly greeting or acknowledgement. Did I close with a confident call to action? So these were just a couple of things that I wanted her to take a peek at. We just met yesterday and she reported how overly warm her emails were, and this was no surprise. I actually had this issue too when I first started doing this, I could not believe how many exclamation points and emojis there were, so I kind of chuckled when she actually said some very similar things when she did the audit. And the other reason why it's not a surprise is that this particular client and I are working on confidence, speaking her truth from a grounded foundation, and overall leadership executive presence. So it's not surprising that it was very warm. And a lot of times when we have this people-pleasing tendency, we will have overly warm communication because the root of people-pleasing is a deep desire to be liked.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:05:28 So she's been practicing swapping out a few words and emojis, and it is dramatically improving her communication and, surprisingly, her self-perception. It is such a win.
Integrating both aspects will help ensure that your communication is not only effective but also engaging. So, for instance, compare these two closing lines: Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. (Now that's warm.) And here's the second one. I'll follow up with a proposal by end of day Friday. (That's competent.) When you combine warmth and competence in your communication, you project confidence while maintaining approachability, a powerful combination for leaders.
So my invitation is to give it a try and let me know how it goes for you.
2. Now, tip number two is to practice empathy.
Empathy is a cornerstone of conscious communication, and I actually feel like it's a pillar of just being a generally great human. So empathy means putting yourself in the other person's shoes and considering their perspective, needs, and feelings before responding. Research has shown that empathetic leaders foster more loyalty, creativity, and collaboration among their teams.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:06:49 It makes total sense. And there's another study by Business Revolver, and they revealed that 93% of employees are more likely to stay with an empathetic employer, and 82% would consider leaving their jobs for a more empathetic organization. Isn't that amazing? What we've been told is a soft skill is actually a power skill that is so impactful that 82% of people consider leaving their jobs over. This should be front-page news, people.
And as a conscious leader, you can lead the way here. One way to practice empathy is by simply asking yourself, ‘How do I want this person to feel after this conversation?’ Whether you're delivering feedback, discussing challenges, or offering praise, leading with empathy creates deeper and more meaningful connections.
3. Tip number three use mindful listening techniques.
Have you ever been in a conversation where you could tell the other person wasn't fully present? Perhaps they were distracted, or you could sense they were just waiting for their turn to speak. It's frustrating, right? Mindful listening is about being fully present and engaged in a conversation.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:08:06 It requires putting aside distractions, both mental and physical and focusing on the speaker. One helpful strategy is repeating back key points to ensure that you understand. For example, you could say, ‘Just to clarify, what I'm hearing is that you're feeling overwhelmed by the current workload and that you'd like some additional support. Is that correct?’
By doing this, not only do you ensure you're accurately understanding the other person, but you're also validating their experience, which helps build rapport and trust.
I know we talked about something similar last week, but it's obviously on my mind. I was just on a call with my mom the other day, and she chatted about all the things in her life, the people in it, and other updates. She kept asking herself, what else? What else? And then said, well, I think that's it. Now, I never shared anything on my side. And I said, well, I have a few things. And she said, oh, we can catch up on that next time.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:09:00 I somewhat chuckled as I closed the call as mindful listening and being present has been a chapter I've been on this month. So interesting how things get put into your path over and over again to teach you all the angles, your reactions, and patterns, and the most important part illuminates the choice to do things differently if you desire. All right.
4. Tip number four master non-verbal communication.
Your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice can communicate more than your words alone. According to research by Doctor Albert May, Arabian nonverbal communication accounts for up to 93% of how your messages are received. 93%!
As leaders, we need to be conscious of our nonverbal cues. Especially in high-stakes situations like presentations, negotiations, or difficult conversations. Are your arms crossed- Signaling defensiveness? Is your tone of voice neutral and calm, or does it betray frustration and impatience? One trick is to ensure your nonverbal communication aligns with your verbal messages. If you're delivering a compliment but your body language is stiff and closed off, the message will feel insincere.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:10:22 Conversely, if you're giving constructive criticism but your tone is warm and understanding, it's more likely to be received positively.
My invitation to you is to be aware of your body language and take a moment to observe those around you. This tuning in has the potential to open up a new way of being with yourself, and with those that you're connecting with.
I'm excited to hear how it goes for you.
5. Tip number five is the power of pausing.
Silence can be just as powerful as words. As a coach, we were trained to speak 20% of the time and let our clients speak for 80%. In fact, when I was being vetted by the International Coaching Federation for the PCC; Professional Certified Coach status, I had to send in multiple recordings of coaching sessions where the transcript was analyzed and I was graded on the percentage of the call that I spoke and the percent that I listened. It was a cool process, one that I don't always get to practice as I offer a hybrid of coaching and consulting. My exec clients all land in the coaching lane, but my solopreneurs usually want more of the consulting bits, so in that, their percentage is probably flip. Anyway, back to you.
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:11:34 When you pause before responding, you give yourself the space to collect your thoughts and respond more consciously. Pausing can prevent knee-jerk reactions, especially in emotionally charged situations. So don't underestimate the power of the pause.
In addition, a well-placed pause can create a sense of gravitas and command attention. One of my past podcast guests, Pauline Nygenen, said that one of the highest compliments that she ever received was after one of her speeches on stage, an individual came up to her and said, your pauses were to die for! What a fun compliment.
For example, during presentations or speeches, pausing before key points allows the audience to absorb what's being said and also prepares them for the next idea. One fun thing is you can actually go and watch some TedEx talks and just see which speakers you're gravitating towards -are they mastering the art of the pause? It's a simple yet effective way to enhance your presence as a leader.
Couple this with the presence of your full radiant energy, eye contact, and charismatic body language and you will be unstoppable!
Kc Rossi, PCC 00:12:57 Conscious communication isn't about perfection, it's about intention.
By balancing warmth and competence, practicing empathy, listening mindfully, and paying attention to nonverbal cues. You can elevate your communication and make a deeper impact as a leader. Isn't that why we're here?
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Heart Glow CEO™, and if you found these tips helpful, be sure to subscribe and leave a review at www.lovethe podcast.com/brilliance.
Until next time, stay aligned, stay empowered, and breathe joy!
